Those Rules
by Aya Taki
Summary: Rule: Don't touch Gaara's cookies. Why? Well, you should read and find out. Oh, and this story is definitely in the WTF catagory... you've been warned...


Aya: Hello my loyal followers! Welcome to my first story of awesome-ness!

Sakura: How can they be your 'loyal followers' if this is only your first story?

Aya: Um… because… I gave them cookies? Oh I don't know –pouts-

Sakura: You weren't the one who gave them cookies, that was Tobi.

Gaara: IS THAT WHERE MY COOKIES WENT??!

…silence…

Aya: When did you get here? And why_ did_ you give those people cookies, Tobi? You know how protective Gaara gets of his cookies.

Tobi: Tobi gave everyone cookies because Tobi is a good boy!

Gaara: TOBI IS A BAD BOY!

Tobi: -sniff- Gaara is being mean to Tobi, Aya!

Aya: Well, you kind of took his cookies and gave them to a bunch of strangers…

Tobi: But Gaara said Tobi was a bad boy! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!

Aya: AAAAAH! SPAZZY TOBI! AAAAAAH! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY! TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!

Tobi: Really?! Tobi is a good boy, Tobi is a good boy!

Sakura: Um… cough cough retards cough cough… anyway, aren't we supposed to be doing something else right about now?

Aya: OH YEAH! I have to start my story!

Aya: -clears throat- Once upon a time, in a far off land-

Itachi: STOP!

-blank stares-

Sakura: OMFG! ITACHI JUST YELLED!

Itachi: Hn.

Aya: -starts shaking her head in disappointment- And we were so close to real sentences…

Tobi: Tobi wonders why Itachi yelled stop!

Aya: Yeah, why did you yell stop? I was going to tell Cinderella.

Itachi: -grumbles- Well… for one, Cinderella isn't even the story you should be telling.

Aya: -rubs back of neck sheepishly- Oh yeah…

Itachi: And you have to do a disclaimer.

Sakura: He's right… I wonder what would happen if we didn't do a disclaimer?

Tobi: Tobi thinks the DISCLAIMER POLICE would come; Tobi doesn't like the DISCLAIMER POLICE. They think Tobi should stop talking in third person.

Aya: I don't think I like the DISCLAIMER POLICE either, but I'm not sure how to do a disclaimer.

Itachi: Are you all idiots?

Aya: -smiles- Of course we are!

Itachi: Do you even know what I just said?

Aya: You said that we were brilliant wonderful people!

Itachi: Stupid kid.

Aya: Thank you!

Sakura: I think she reprogrammed her brain or something, she doesn't hear insults.

Aya: That's right! Wait, you were insulting me earlier?!!

Itachi: Yes I was, but I think that these people are getting sick of you rambling on, so I'll get Tobi to do the disclaimer.

Aya: Okay!

Itachi: Tobi?

Tobi: Yes?

Itachi: Do the disclaimer or I'll kill you.

Tobi: Okay! **Aya Taki **does not own Naruto!

Aya: Is that a disclaimer? Interesting.

Itachi: Idiot.

Aya: Thank you!

Sakura: -sigh- Let's just start the story okay?

Aya: ALRIGHTY!

"Talking"

'_Thinking'_

'**Those Rules'**

A very long time ago, you know: before electricity, there were people who walked the earth that could do super cool things.

They were ninjas.

Oh wait, it wasn't a long time ago… can I start over? (Everyone: NO! Aya: Aww –pouts-) Fine, it was actually an alternate universe.

Or something, I just know that there weren't any computers or tvs… or cars, or anything for that matter.

So, back to the point, these ninja were just like us… only they could do flips… but besides that we are basically the same.

In fact, they even have the same rules as us!

You know what I mean, I'm talking about those rules that everyone just _knows, _even if they have little knowledge of anything else.

Like, for example, the rule that you aren't aloud to cross the street without looking both ways first… or the rule about not playing with your food.

Now I know what you're thinking: nobody even listens to those rules, so why is she writing about them?

Well, I'm writing about them because not enough people listen to these rules, and that I am here to warn you all that your health could be in danger if you don't listen to them.

And no, I'm not talking about being unhealthy if you don't eat your vegetables.

I'm talking about the most important rule of all: Stay away from Gaara's cookies.

Now as I said before, you must stay away from his cookies, this rule can be very crucial to your health, as Tobi learned earlier (Tobi: Tobi was just trying to be a good boy! Everyone: SHUT UP!)…

Still don't believe me? Well then I guess I should tell you a little tale that might convince you.

It all started one nice sunny day in Konohagakure, the birds were singing, the children laughing, all was good.

Even the grouchiest of people couldn't be angry on a day like this, it was just so amazing… not even an Uchiha could dampen this day with there one-syllable words.

So anyway, the day was great and so Sakura Haruno decided that she wanted to make cookies.

There was going to be a barbeque later that day, because even ninja have barbeques, and Sakura decided that she wanted to bring cookies…

Because everyone loves cookies… but now she was faced with a dilemma: what _kind _of cookies should she make?

Personally, Sakura didn't have a preference in cookies, so she couldn't make her favorite.

And she didn't know anyone else's favorite because nobody ever really talked about what kind of cookie they liked best.

So she had to come up with some way to choose a kind of cookie without feeling any regret…

'_But how can I do THAT?' _Sakura asked herself lightly, before sitting down in her favorite chair, it was her thinking chair, and thinking.

Because that is what you do in a thinking chair, and usually it works, and you are able to think up some marvelous idea in a matter of minutes.

But it wasn't working that day, maybe it had run out of batteries? Oh what am I talking about, they don't have computers, so why in the world would they have batteries?

Maybe they run on sunlight! But that wouldn't work because there was no sunlight in the room with the thinking chair… so what does it run on? I'll have to check on that later.

So as I was saying, the thinking chair didn't seem to be working so Sakura couldn't come up with any good ideas at the moment.

"Maybe I should ask Naruto?" Sakura grinned to herself, before heading out her door.

Can you believe it? That thinking chair is such a hard working thinking chair that it thought up an idea for Sakura even though it wasn't working. It is such a nice thinking chair, I think I'll have to get one for myself sometime.

But I'm straying from the point now, so Sakura went to the ramen stand… because everyone knows how much Naruto loves ramen.

"Naruto," Sakura began, plopping down on the seat beside Naruto, "I need some advice, and can you help?"

It was at that moment that Sakura saw what kind of ramen Naruto was eating.

It was Shio ramen.

Now, I know what you're thinking: why does it matter what ramen Naruto is eating? It's just ramen.

Well, you are wrong, because it is not just ramen.

Do you remember what I told you about thinking chairs? Well there are also thinking foods, because chairs don't work for everyone.

And Shio ramen was Naruto's thinking food.

"What do you need help on, Sakura?" Naruto asked, taking a slurp from the soup… oh that just sounded so wonderful… slurp from the soup… slurp from the soup… I just love how that sounds.

"I need to decide what kind of cookie I want to make, but I can't choose!"

Naruto looked down at his soup thoughtfully, before answering, "Maybe you should right down the names of the cookies, and then draw one."

Wow, that is one great soup Naruto has got there! It came up with a better idea then that marvelous thinking chair; I think I should try that soup before I take a test.

"That's a great idea! But why are you eating Shio soup?" Sakura asked curiously, and I'm so glad she did, I've been dying to hear the answer myself.

"I am eating this soup because need to choose a kind of pie to buy for the barbeque tonight!"

Oh no, that is a horrible problem. Almost as bad as the cookie problem, because almost as many people love pie as much as they do cookies!

"Well just draw names like I'm going to!" Sakura suggested, but only after she dipped her finger in the thinking soup.

I just love that soup, it is so kind! It even helped someone who owns a thinking chair, which is very surprising because thinking chairs and soups don't like each other very much. They are rivals in brilliance.

"Okay!" They then both scrambled over to there homes, and drew the names of the pies and cookies they would do.

"Marshmallow smarty chocolate cookies," Sakura read before clapping her hands together in delight, "I love this kind!"

She set to work making these cookies, with all these yummy ingredients… and she couldn't help but eat a few marshmallows by themselves, because they are delicious.

Now, sometimes people get so caught up in what they are doing that they don't even notice the time flying by… and in Sakura's case she didn't and made dozens and dozens of cookies.

'_It's a good thing that the Sand Siblings are here, because I don't think that everyone in Konoha put together could eat all these cookies.' _She thought once she had finished.

When it was time for the barbeque she took seven Tupperware boxes full of cookies over to the park, or rather she stumbled over to the park with seven Tupperware boxes full of cookies.

Because, you see, seven Tupperware boxes is an awful lot, and she couldn't even see where she was going.

Maybe she should have used that nice thinking chair again to help her come up with a way to carry them…

Anyway, when she arrived there were a bunch of people all crowded around the table.

They were staring wide-eyed at Ino, who was clutching ten pies close to her chest, while snarling 'Mine!'

I would tell you more about Ino's strange obsession with pies, but I'm becoming very tired: it's almost midnight, so I'll have to skip that part.

"I brought cookies!" Sakura shouted, and she placed them on the ground.

And it was a good thing she did because less than a second later everyone had run up to her to get some cookies.

Well, except Ino who stayed back with her pies, but I won't get into that.

After a few minutes everyone was happy with cookies in there hands, but Sakura noticed something, "Why aren't the Sand Siblings here yet?"

Then there was this large gust of wind, and then standing in front of them were the Sand Siblings.

See, isn't that cool? I told you they did cool stuff earlier, but I don't think you were listening. Maybe you should have.

"Hey guys!" They all greeted one another… and when that was over Sakura held up a cookie.

"Do you guys want some cookies?" She asked… only to be extremely surprised.

Gaara, the calm cool one who used those one-syllables like the Uchiha, turned all Chibi like, and ran over to her, snatching the cookie out of her hands.

Now I would tell you that this was one of those extremely cool things that they do, but it wasn't, so I'll save myself the trouble. But despite it not being cool, it was REALLY cute, but also kind of creepy.

"Mine!" He yelled, and ran over to the Tupperware to guard the left-over cookies.

And I think you remember those rules I told you about earlier? Well one of them is to always share. But Gaara didn't seem to know that rule yet, so Sakura decided to help him out.

"Gaara, you have to share those cookies… or you can't have any, I made them so I get to decide!" Sakura looked at Gaara expectantly, but he just clutched them closer to his chest.

"Fine, you can't have any!" She grabbed the cookies and stomped away.

"_My cookies…_" Now everyone was freaked out, stopping what they were doing.

Why? Because Gaara had just used some really demonic voice, and now he looked like a murderer. Kind of like those ones that kill you really slowly… you know what I mean? I shouldn't even be talking about this should I? This is a children's tale! I am such a bad storyteller.

Anyway, Sakura was suddenly wrapped in sand and was about to be 'sand coffin-ized' but she stopped him.

"HERE, TAKE THE STUPID COOKIES!" She screeched, and he grabbed the cookies, going back to his Chibi form.

So everyone decided to let Gaara have his cookies, which I think was a good idea… because lets face it, nobody enjoys getting killed for taking Gaara's cookies.

It's much easier to just let him have them…

Do you believe the rule now? Do you understand why you should never touch his cookies? Good, because I –yawn- have to go to bed… can you guys tell them to review? –snores-

Sakura: -rolls eyes- I'm sorry that she sucks at telling stories, but remember not to take any of this seriously. In face, I'd put this story in the WTF category. But let's remember, it's not her fault she's an idiot, so we shouldn't blame her, okay?

Tobi: Tobi thinks you should review.

Itachi: You should.

Aya: YOU SPOKE AGAIN! AND IT WAS A SENTENCE!

Gaara: I thought you were asleep?

Aya: Um… I woke up?

Gaara: Whatever.

Itachi: Just review.

Tobi: Tobi will give you cookies!

Gaara: MINE!

Aya: Did you people learn nothing from my story of awesome-ness??!

Everyone: No.

Aya: Oh… that's too bad. Please review everyone! G'night, or g'morning, or something!

Everyone: Bye!

Aya: And by the way: I'm serious about the whole don't touch Gaara's cookies thing, okay? You've been warned.

**Thanks For Reading!**


End file.
